Writing for Self-Compassion

Name

Purpose/Effects

A lack of self-compassion is common in our highly competitive society. By learning to treat ourselves with kindness and compassion we can increase our contentment, emotional well-being, resilience, and courage. This exercise is designed to help cultivate and promote self-compassion through writing.

Method

Summary

First, write about an aspect of yourself that you judge and dislike. Next, write a letter to yourself from the perspective of a good friend and then read it aloud while practicing taking in the good.

Long Version

Step One

Choose an aspect of yourself or life that you dislike and criticize. It can be something that makes you feel ashamed, unworthy, inadequate, or self-conscious.

Examples may include appearance, career, relationships, health, etc.

Write in detail about how this perceived inadequacy makes you feel. What thoughts, images, emotions, or stories arise when you think about it?

Step Two

Now, recall or imagine a friend or family member who is unconditionally loving, accepting, and supportive.
Imagine that this person knows everything about you, including your background, genes, upbringing, and who you really are as a person. Imagine they know all if the various factors and events that have lead up to your life right now.
Now write a letter to yourself from that friend about how they view and explain your perceived shortcoming.
Write from a place of deep kindness, understanding and non-judgmental acceptance.
Keep in mind that all beings are imperfect, and want to be happy and free from suffering.

Step Three

After you finish writing, read the letter aloud to yourself and pay attention to how it makes you feel.
Later read the letter again, practicing taking in the good and experiencing how it feels in your body, heart, and mind.
Feel the love, compassion, and acceptance that exist within you.

History

This method was adapted from Kristen Neff’s self-compassion exercise called Exploring Self-Compassion Through Writing. Additional exercises can be found on her website www.self-compassion.org

Cautions

Don’t be discouraged if you do not immediately feel compassion for yourself after writing this letter. Self-compassion takes time to develop and you are taking steps to cultivate it by doing this exercise.

External Links

Kristin Neff explains self-compassion
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tyl6YXp1Y6M

Knowledge Base